Tripping the mood tarptastic

Chris Rose's column today summed up my own experience with mood swings and the whiplash of my emotional peaks and valleys. I have becomed more familiar with the benefits of mood-altering drugs. I think if there was ever a time to turn to Eli Lilly & friends, it's now. I'm not ashamed to say I'm currently conducting a fond love affair with my new beau, Xanax.

I had a recent evening with friends (a couple who I'd seen only once or twice since the storm) at our local hangout. Pre-K, we'd discussed topics ranging from 80's clothing fads to the sinus conditions of our co-workers. Drinks, laughs, the usual bar interpersonal theater. After-K, I found myself sitting across the iron patio furniture from them, literally staring into my drink and at the tops of my shoes. I was not lively company. In fact, I was downright melancholy. This is not a mood that I frequently exhibit, and certainly not one that I bring to a friendly get-together. Our usual lively bar talk was replaced by monologues of almost haiku-ish brevity.

And yet, the next day, I was back to "normal," and wondering what the hell was my problem last night? I have been in awe of the amplitude of my own uncontrollable mood swings - hell, I didn't know my moods could do this - and I'm left reeling in the wake of these hot, quick punches of emotions. Pfizer should take me in as a lab rat. This is nuts.

Tarptastic!

We're back in Uptown New Orleans. Not staying at our house though - "Ramone" is supposedly showing up with his crew Monday (and he's been scheduled to show up for the last 2 Mondays) - so maybe things will move forward soon. Who knows. We do strongly suspect, however, that our rent will increase considerably soon. Which sucks, and which will probably mean us leaving New Orleans...especially if I am laid off.

My job situation is tenuous, to put it mildly. Layoffs are imminent, and have been going on in small waves since September, and I just feel like my number will be up soon.

I want to be one of those people who digs in their heels and says "I'M STAYING IN NOLA NO MATTER WHAT! YEAHHH!!" but with *both* my job *and* my housing up in the air, and the stress of the last few months, I am just tired. And I want some normalcy. I'm not saying I have it bad - I mean, we are doing much better than our neighbors to the East and in Lakeview - I'm just saying how things look for me. I could swing with the stress of either my job, or my housing up in the air...but to have both so uncertain is a double-whammy. Ugh.

I don't know how much longer I'll be here.